Show me a contract

I believe I should write a book on relationships. I will too, if somebody offers a lucrative publishing deal. Well, lucrative in the sense that I can dilly-dally around for another couple of years before fully entering into adulthood (trans: getting a job). Here’s the promo sheet:

Title: “The Inverted Relationship: Going Through Life in Reverse”

Authors: Me and the girlfriend

Synopsis: Various and sundry circles have pushed the “true” meaning and purpose of dating, courtship, and other methods of relationship building as figuring out if two people are “right” for marriage. Its fine and dandy, but the inherent problem is that couples rarely ever engage in “married” people activities during the relationship building process. That’s why I propose (no pun intended) a complete overhaul in the relationship building process. After the initial acquaintance phases are over, start doing married people things (within good reason, of course). Activities include but aren’t limited to: Volunteer to take care of kids (have I mentioned how cool the idea of adoption is lately? Yes, Leah, I know, I haven’t mentioned ANYTHING lately), work out each other’s budgets (which, if you’re in college and have no money, it’ll be a piece of cake), plan each other’s vacations (but don’t tell the parents till after the fact if you end up going on the vacation together), and, of course, lots of time observing and hanging around other married people. The purpose is twofold. 1) See if you’re ready for married life—if not, then by the previous arguments you have no business dating and 2) if you are ready for married life, to see if you can handle married life with your significant other. It’s a really crazy notion, but it takes the whole “date with a purpose” idea to its logical end. Plus, it actually works.